Forward!

Foreword

by Anonymous Guy

Regrettably, at the time Tyrone began writing "Myrna" -- as it was called at the time -- I was not around to stop him. I was vacationing in Detroit, one of the last great cities left in America. Being his conscience, the one who tells him how bad all of his ideas and drawings are, I would have been able to reason with him, stop him somehow, through physical force if it came to that, but by the time I caught up with him he was already 100 pages into the damn thing and there was no turning back. Unfortunate to be sure.

Luckily I was able to help him reign the thing in upon our reunion because the original draft was complete shit. Now, I don't want to give the impression that this is a good book, far from it. This is a bad book. It's the first attempt at writing a full novel by someone who possesses little to no knowledge about the art of writing and it shows. Am I glad he wrote it? No, not really, to be perfectly honest with you. I would have preferred he found some gainful employment instead of rolling his face around on the keyboard for 4-6 months. Then again, this is Tyrone we're talking about, so what could we really expect? Who knows?

If I were to compare Tyrone's writing style to any other writer I would compare him to no one because they are all most certainly more capable than he is. This is doubly true considering the ideas held within this...erm, guh...novel. It is filled with half realized ideas, underdeveloped plot points, and off the wall theories on life from a 25 year old hermit.

People have asked Tyrone what it's about and he's never really been able to give a straight answer and that's understandable because I've read it and I'm still not sure what's it about. I don't think it's about anything to tell you the truth. I'm not even sure the damn thing is finished! Well, it's about a janitor, but I can't say much beyond that. What's it about thematically? Well, we can just forget about that discussion. I've also been told it's funny. I suppose it is at parts but Tyrone tries much too hard and you'll find many dead jokes within this book. Then again, it is well known that I have never laughed.

Now, I know that I've been awfully hard on Tyrone in this short passage he begged me to write but that's only because I know how much better Tyrone could do. I'm sure the 50 or so agents who have rejected him feel the same way. Right. Well, for what it's worth I hope you enjoy the book. I'm just glad he's finally sharing it with the world, though whether that's a good or bad thing remains to be seen. At the very least I'll be able to drink some of that Oude Genever.