Thursday, April 16, 2015

Complete Shit


When George arrives at the office, he immediately goes to Ellen's desk and compliments her coat.

"Nice red coat!" he says, smiling.

Ellen looks at him cockeyed, shakes her head, and says, "I always wear this red coat, keep your pants on."

His lower lip trembling, he stutters, and drools, and says, "I am sorry, I had never seen you wear it before, and got excited. I had read in a book that you should compliment women."

At that moment, interrupting the strange discourse, the Program Director, a seven foot 400 pound man with a neck the size of a tree stump, enters the room and says, "Get back to work, you dumb mother fuckers!"

Ellen, smiling brightly as always, says, "I was working, but this guy won't ever leave me alone. I say, there's being sociable and then there's going too far. At one time we were good friends, but he has taken that for granted and now makes me uncomfortable! I request you move him to the other side of the office so that I may continue my work in peace and without being involved in conversations every five minutes, of which I want no part of."

The Program Director, a rare gleam in his black eyes, strokes his beard, and says, "I have a better idea, Ellen. George, you're fired." Then, turning to face the rest of his employees, he holds up his enormous arms and says "In fact, everyone is fired! Congratulations! We are replacing you with robots. Good bye!"

Ellen, sighing, and starting to pack up her shit, says, "God, finally. Now I can go home and die in peace."